Cannes Lions: Saving advertising by ‘hanging out on yachts and gulping putrid rosé’
Adland guru Bob Hoffman didn't go along, but he predicts here – with tongue planted firmly in cheek – exactly what will happen this week on the French Riviera, as the industry jamboree that is Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity runs its course
For the 100th consecutive year I did not go to Cannes. But the good thing is, I know exactly what happened and saved myself thousands of dollars.
As a free service to you other losers who didn’t attend, here’s what you missed.
- A very casually dressed CEO from a very big holding company said that the consumer is changing and we have to change to keep up with the changing consumer. He said we have to evolve or die.
- A very rich and famous creative person gave a very stirring speech about how creativity is the heart and soul of our industry and we have to get back to celebrating creativity. Agencies that don’t prioritise creativity won’t be around long.
- Another famous creative person with very expensive eye-wear said we need to be brave. Those that aren’t brave won’t last.
- A very earnest female executive gave a talk about how we have to value all people regardless of sex, sexual orientation, race, religion, absence of religion, age, ability, body type or gluten sensitivity. Marketers that don’t value diversity will soon be dead.
- A very European planner gave a talk about how we have to stop thinking short-term and realise that brands are built by long-term strategy. Those who focus on the short-term will disappear in the long-term. (Then she hurried out to see how many tweets her talk got.)
- A panel discussion was held to discuss the future of marketing. It was agreed that more personalisation was necessary to make marketing more relevant to consumers. Brands that don’t have better insights into individual consumer behaviour don’t have long to live.
- A panel discussion was held to discuss the future of the agency business. It was agreed that the agency business must align its priorities to the evolving needs of our clients or we will fade away.
- A very famous celebrity from outside the advertising industry gave a talk on why he/she now pays as much attention to social media as he/she does to acting/singing/basketball. “You have to stay in touch to stay alive.”
- A very famous billionaire sent a very mid-level executive to explain how their company is committed to protecting consumer privacy by developing an AI process to screen out everything and everyone that is bad. “If we don’t do that, we have no future.”
- A research expert said that in order to understand Gen Z we must forget everything we know about Millennials, who were digital natives, and start to understand Gen Z, who are “digital aboriginals.” Ignoring the needs of Gen Z is a death sentence.
- A panel of branding experts agreed that consumers now expect brands to be socially responsible and make the world a better place for all people regardless of sex, sexual orientation, race, religion, absence of religion, age, ability, body type or gluten sensitivity. Brands that don’t do that will soon be extinct.
Advertising ‘troublemaker’ Hoffman
There is so much potential for death in the advertising business these days that there is only one responsible way to avoid marketing’s grim reaper – hang out on yachts and gulp putrid rosé.
Thank goodness there are thousands of men and women from around the world who are willing to do this on our behalf.
Otherwise, we’d be dead.
Bob Hoffman has been the CEO of two independent agencies and is the author of the Ad Contrarian blog, where this post first appeared
Ha ha. Nailed it
Replythis is so true and funny at the same time. noice!
ReplyThis made me chuckle, a great summary.
ReplyOver at the awards presentation:
A creative team prayed that their entry would get out of shortlist purgatory and into metal-land or their careers would die.
The national ECD prayed that his agency would win enough points (metal and finalists) to escape the glare of the regional CCO.
The regional CCO prayed that his region would win enough points to escape the explosive ire of the global CCO.
The global CCO prayed that the press would take only photos of his ‘good side’.
Together they all prayed that their scam wins wouldn’t be revealed until they have all left France so they won’t have to answer questions by the trade press.
ReplyGreat article! I can’t wait to enter the Mumbrella awards! Definitely a better platform for creative work 🙂
ReplyDear Mr. Hoffman
ReplyWhether the industry dies or not, you proved that humour and sarcasm in the industry lives. Give us more.
All of the people who position themselves as advocates for sustainabilty, refuse straws, recycle, do “advertising for good”, and yet burnt 7.18 tonnes of CO2e in the process of a return flight Sydney – Cannes. Ref: https://calculator.carbonfootprint.com/
ReplyAwesome article. Funny but so sadly true.
It still amazes me, that so much money is spent for something so trivial. Surely in an economic era where budgets are reducing, sales are sliding and people are being made redundant, there could be a better way to truly showcase creativity rather just a good old fashion jolly.
Maybe that could be a category next year, Creative ways to be Creative and do some good with all the money normally wasted.
ReplyBe creative or die. Good summary. I welcome those who can’t be creative to join me.
ReplyThis article made my Friday afrenoon 🙂 Witty, funny, and unfortunately so accurate!
ReplyPoint taken, although I found some of the work that has won big this year very inspiring. It’s miles above the crap that [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] agencies try to scam up. They will have to try very hard to match some of this year’s work which clearly has had a lot of money and professional co-ordination thrown at it…not just favours from two bit production houses and photographers.
ReplyThe absolute desperation for recognition is cringe worthy as everyone tries for some claim to fame. Case and point the [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] who claimed the Terrace Stage as their own (and named it after themselves) when they had no involvement with the development, didn’t curate any of the sessions nor did any of those who paid to go to Cannes and speak (and sponsor) agree that the renowned Terrace Stage they were selected to be part of be renamed after this person. Understandable the organisers and speakers were less than impressed.
ReplyMy agency spoke on the terrace stage and refused to take photo with cards with this person name on them. We complained to Cannes organisers. If it is your stage why your name not on website and screen? Only [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] do this.
ReplyI heard a lot of people talking about this last week. Literally had a fake Terrace logo and cards to give out on the Terrace Stage and used it as a blatant job hunt opportunity. Apparently [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] literally hit people up for jobs both before and after they took the stage and played up her access to Cannes organisers as an incentive. I hope the organisers noticed how many people were really put off by the self-promotion.
ReplyI was there and this is true. The “MC” role for the Terrace Stage was absolutely unnecessary and it was mortifying to watch and even more mortifying to see someone have no [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] so publicly as well as on social media.
Cannes was probably the perfect place for them.
ReplyThis is such a double standard. If it had been a bloke barging his way in with fake cards/logos/hashtags, harassing people for jobs while claiming ownership of the Terrace Stage, as well as influence over Cannes reps to manipulate, Mumbrella and Cindy Gallop would be up in arms.
For what it’s worth they did a sh*t job.
Reply…interest in social causes really, only what they can do to further their own agenda. [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] does not have a commercially viable business, or leading creative role, or innovation to speak of… she is an incredibly vocal self-appointed figurehead of a movement that would survive and thrive without her. But she’s inserted herself into the dialogue and is now making money from it. Much like the person involved in the Terrace Stage fiasco – it’s all superficial warbling but ultimately this is an industry that rewards these people with titles, speaking gigs, and much money.
Don’t hate the player?!
ReplyThis [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] is absolutely the worst. I was there last year and this year too. Remember coming by this fake [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] Terrace Stage thing last year and thinking why would the organizers let her get away with it when it isn’t even a thing and honestly is a shameless attempt at self promotion. And to see it back [Edited under Mumbrella’s community guidelines] this year was just ugh. Deplorable how people can use these platforms for such wrong reasons and get away with it.
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